Controlling your anger

Look, it’s a little pop psychology but one of the lines I heard on TV about controlling your emotions, or at least reacting in proportion to a trigger, has stuck with me. Bear with with if you don’t like the good doctor, Dr Phil. As it is he who has given me this pearl of wisdom.

A little context. It was about a woman who became aggressive and extremely abusive when driving. She said she got angry when she encountered people on the road doing stupid or rude things. Things like overtaking on the inside, cutting her off, not letting her in when a lane merged, moving off too slowly at the lights, driving below the speed limit. In fact, everything and anything that others did “caused” an extremely intemperate reaction from her. She said that she couldn’t believe what people did.

So Dr Phil said if you know people are going to do stupid or rude or inconsiderate things, and you do know that because you see it every day, why do you expect any different? So if you know it is going to happen, why the disbelief, why the different between expectation and reality?

Once you accept these things will occur, you lose the surprise when it happens. No more shouting, “Why on earth is that blip bleep doing that?” It’s a case of, “Yeah, people do that. Another idiot.” But without the anger.

(Now doesn’t mean I don’t hit the horn when someone does something incredibly rude or dangerous. But I don’t do it in anger, I am warning the driver.)

Now time for today’s log:

  • 1. Did I have a laugh today?
  • Yes, lots.

  • 2. Did I give someone a hug today?
  • Yes, darling son.

  • 3. Did I go some deep breathing?
  • Yes.

  • 4. Did I do a relaxation activity, such as read a book, have a bath, light a candle, dream, call someone and have a chat, sit in the sun?
  • Yes, a massage, and a bath with a glass of bubbles.

  • 5. Did I do something good for someone else or be nice to someone?
  • Compliments, advice and made people laugh.

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