Archive | May 4, 2013

Do you have the 4 Fs?

Dr John writes about the Four Fs as crucial for developing coping skills.

  • Family – making time for family.
  • Fun – having fun, a laugh, not taking yourself too seriously.
  • Friendship – doing things, having fun with friends.
  • Faith – having a sense of something bigger, a purpose or believing in fair play.
  • You might want to review how you go in these four areas!

    I spend a lot of time with my family; until recently we had dinner together every night. I phone my mother every week and my sister regularly. I enjoy my time with my husband and we do things together all the time. So family gets a big tick.

    I have fun in my life. I am am member of a book club and meet every month to talk about our latest read. And I definitely don’t take myself seriously. I didn’t do so well on the fun side when my children were young, as work and family and housework took up all my time. There just wasn’t time for anything much else. But now I think I get a middle-sized tick in the fun category.

    I am a crap friend! I have friends but I just don’t have much time to spend with them. I tend to hibernate on weekends, allowing my mind and body to recover. And during the week, after a 9 to 10 hour day at work, I don’t have much time to visit friends or go out with them, especially as many live quite a drive away. So I am going to make time for friends every weekend in the month of May, my month of “Coping Skills”, even if it is making some phone calls or inviting a friend over for a cake. By the end of May I hope to have earned myself a middle-sized tick here.

    Faith is problematic for me. I don’t believe in a supernatural power and, while I used to see my job as having a bigger purpose and contributing to society, I have become a little jaded. I do believe in fair play and I do get a sense of connection when walking in the bush. So while I get a great big red cross in this area, I think I will be working on friendships and fun on the May weekends.


    Now time for today’s log:

  • 1. Did I have a laugh today?
  • Yes.

  • 2. Did I give someone a hug today?
  • Yes, friend who is having a bit of a rough time.

  • 3. Did I go some deep breathing?
  • Yes.

  • 4. Did I do a relaxation activity, such as read a book, have a bath, light a candle, dream, call someone and have a chat, sit in the sun?
  • Yes, lit a nice smelling candle and sat on my back verandah and had a cup of tea using my nice crockery and watched the sky change as a southerly came across.

  • 5. Did I do something good for someone else or be nice to someone?
  • Cheered up a friend who was down.

    Today’s decluttered item = strange orthodontic instrument that is no longer needed for my son’s expander.