“To really master being impeccable will require that you heighten your awareness not just to the words you say, but also to the emotions you express, your attitude, your actions, and where you express the power of your belief. You will need to develop a discipline of mindfulness to be impeccable in these expressions through out the day.” Gary van Warmerdam, http://www.toltecspirit.com/
I am generally positive in my words – both the words I use and the tone. Big round of applause: I have had employees thank me for the positive tone I set in my workplace. And at home I try not to be critical and negative. I don’t always get it right, but I try.
Three tales to share that made me more aware of this:
I did a course on Glasser psychology, and the instructor asked to whom do we think we speak most harshly? The answer: our family, those closest to us! Think about it. If we are rude, abrupt or critical to friends, they drop us. But we know family have to put up with us! After that eye opener, I consciously changed the way I spoke with my husband and children.
At another conference, the presenter on work/home balance asked us to think about our tone with our family. The example she gave was coming home to her family at the end of a long and tiring day at work. She could come home and moan and whinge about being exhausted and having to cook. Or she could smile and greet her family with love and say how much she loves having a family to cook for and to share dinner with. Neither will change the fact that she is tired but one approach will create a positive atmosphere and help develop loving relationships. Which do you want to chose?
And the last story is not about words, it is about speaking with your eyes. I heard this on a TV show and it has struck with me. Every mother knows the responsibility of ensuring her kids’ clothes are tidy and clean and not in need of repair and that the kids are clean and their hair is looking good, their nose doesn’t need a wipe etc etc etc. When your children first see you, do they see in your eyes a critical look as you survey them for that smudge that needs wiping off their cheek or do they see love and that you are glad to see them. After all, no one but you will probably notice the mess, and if they do, who cares? What’s more important: that others see you have kept your children neat or that you child gets an expression of uncritical love from you?
OK, if I am so perfect in being impeccable with my word (I am being ironic here) why is this agreement so hard for me?
Confession time: My name is Lucinda and I am a gossip. I love nothing more than hearing about what others are up to. And having a laugh at the foibles of others – and myself. (I resume my seat.)
But with the help of the group, GA – Gossipers Anonymous – I may triumph.
I think I see a new challenge, a needed new habit coming on!!!
Say no to gossip.
Let’s see if I can go a week without gossiping or saying anything negative about someone to another person, excepting debriefing to my husband. Nah! Just setting myself up for failure.
And if you are one of those people that find swear words offensive then perhaps you won’t like me. I swear like a wharfie, and find innocuous words when used to insult, such as “cow” and “fat”, extremely offensive but don’t cringe at Saxon words of exclamation.
Anyway, I promise I will try to be nicer with my words. I never mean to offend or insult, and am actually a caring person, but I do like to hear and share a juicy story.
Now time for today’s log:
1. Did I have a laugh today?
Yes, the need to have a chat overcame my fear of the sharp tongue of my Pilates instructor.
2. Did I give someone a hug today?
3. Did I do a relaxation activity, such as read a book, have a bath, light a candle, dream, call someone and have a chat, sit in the sun?
Yes. Pilates and red wine. (I know it is Tuesday and I am not meant to drink but my instructor recommended it for my bad back, so am drinking purely for medicinal purposes.)
4. Did I do something good for someone else or be nice to someone?
Gave compliments and sound advice. What a good natured soul am I!