The second agreement: Don’t take anything personally

Returning to coping skills and Ruiz’s Four Agreements for this post.20130505-133208.jpg

This agreement has given me the best skills in resilience.

It immediately made sense for me and I so understood it. From the start, after reading this, the actions of others who were not loved ones ceased to have power over me, ceased to scar me and I gained control over me. I stopped giving that power to others.

Of course, those at work still have an impact and stress builds (just ask my back) but it is as if my emotional plump line stays steady. There is no swinging pendulum, no trigger of distress or anger. If you’re a dickhead, that’s your look-out and I am not going to be upset. Though I may get revenge. (Damn, there goes Agreement Number 1.)

So, whatever others say about me, it doesn’t say much about me. It says things about them. If I know I am doing my best and doing right, or at least acting from a point of good intentions, them the nastiness, the abuse, the criticism from others, is telling about their experiences, their thoughts, their mindset.


And I love the ending of the chapter on this agreement.

If you keep this agreement, you can travel around the world with your heart completely open and no one can hurt you. You can say, “I love you,” without fear of being ridiculed or rejected. ..You can say yes, or you can say no – whatever you choose – without guilt or self-judgement. You can choose to follow your heart always. Then you can be in the middle of hell and still experience inner peace and happiness. You can stay in your state of bliss, and hell will not affect you at all.

I avow to not hand over control of my emotions to others, and this agreement has given me the understanding how to remain in control of myself.

Now time for today’s log:

  • 1. Did I have a laugh today?
  • Yes, though nothing that seems funny if I shared it here. As they say, “You had to be there.”

  • 2. Did I give someone a hug today?
  • Bugger, forgot.

  • 3. Did I do a relaxation activity, such as read a book, have a bath, light a candle, dream, call someone and have a chat, sit in the sun?
  • Yes. Read a chapter of my latest book while marinating in my own juices in a bubble bath. Great new bubbles – pomegranate, from a son for Mothers’ Day.

  • 4. Did I do something good for someone else or be nice to someone?
  • Yes, gave a book to a colleague to motivate her in her career.

    Today’s decluttered item = More advertising material from last year’s conference. This time CD-Roms and plastic material that cannot be recycled. Unfortunately this goes to landfill. But at least it is not on my floordrobe. By the end of the year I want to reclaim the junk room. A few years ago it was called the computer room or the study. Now it is called the junk room. Not good. I am sure paper breeds in that room!

    Reflecting on the last two decluttered items, I am going to try to not bring home so much gumf from the conference this year. What purpose does it serve?


    3 thoughts on “The second agreement: Don’t take anything personally

    1. I like that agreement at the top of the post. I have a very shy, introverted daughter, who is also a super sensitive soul. My mantra to her is: No one is thinking about you, they are all thinking about themselves. Live your life the way you want, and most people won’t even notice, except that they will see your true self if they happen to be looking, which, let’s face it, they usually aren’t…

    2. Pingback: The third agreement: Don’t make assumptions | lucinda sans

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