34 days alcohol free!
Dry July’s last day today.
And I am quite looking forward to a drink.
I was fine for the first week. No cravings, no twitching, no physiological reaction.
I was fine when I went on holidays. No succumbing to peer pressure. No, “Oh, what the hell! It’s holidays!”
I was fine back at work. No need to have a drink. No constant gnawing at me that something was missing.
I was fine at several social events. Witty, lively, life of the party. All without alcohol.
Then I had two bad days at work. Stressful, more work needing doing than there are hours in the day, sustained emotional interaction with highly agitated, sometimes aggressive, sometimes just plain loopy people. And all the time I have to maintain an emotional equilibrium in the face this onslaught.
I really needed a drink. To unwind. To stop my mind from racing. To wash away the unholy dreck of mad people.
Luckily I had a colleague strengthen my resolve. “Tell yourself it’s the last Friday. And tomorrow tell yourself it’s the last weekend. And then you only have a few days. If you give in now you will have failed. And you will have to do it again next year. Succeed, and you have done it. And you don’t have to do it again.”
So I had a little mantra. “It’s my last Friday.”
Now I know I am not going to go crazy. I am not much of a binge drinker anyway. But I do enjoy the ritual of a glass before dinner, and then one while dinner is cooking. It is relaxing. Oh, I do so love the numbing effect of a glass of red.
Many have asked me whether I feel better. Honestly?
No. Nothing. Not fresher. Not more awake. Not more clear headed.
But I am slightly lighter! Woo hoo! I lost over 1 kilo this month.
But seriously, the weight loss isn’t worth it!