But it’s not the new year?

It’s not the new year, and I am still officially on the Great Wardrobe Diet challenge, but I made a start on my new goal!!!

Yes, true. I did over an hour’s worth of gardening.

Look, I know I promised before and after photos but I was too focused. And by focused, read embarrassed. It’s like, way too dirty.

Anyway, I pulled out a dead plant, collateral damage when I sprayed a rose vine. Who puts a rose vine next to a pool? This thing WAS a triffid. Literally. Perhaps the result of convergent evolution, or closely related. It would send up long shoots that would go sky high and then reach over metres away from the plant’s body. And it would try to eat wandering human. Instead of capturing its prey by blinding them, the local variety of triffid would hook them.

You could be sitting on our verandah and feel a tapping on your head. Goddamn the flies are diving bombing! No, it is the triffid coming in for a taste.

I used Round-up. Nothing. The plant just laughed and flowered. So I went in for nuclear weaponry. Undiluted Round-up. Most of it died. Unfortunately an attractive azalea went too. Poor thing. Minding its own business, bringing joy and beauty. Civilians die in every war. So sad.

Notice how I said “most of it died”? Well, I cut a fresh shoot today. What is it with this triffid? I am going have to re-read Wyndham to find out what worked.

I won’t be planting for a while. Everything will die in the summer heat while I am overseas.

Now, only positive comments please. Here’s part of the bed I weeded.

Massive, I know. And the remains of the triffid. Can’t get the roots out as they go under the pool fence and under the retaining walls. I will paint it with more Agent Orange just in case. Needs must and all.

At the end of January I will put in some fresh soil. And a plant. What do you think I should put in? Right next to a pool. Has to be hardy and cope with neglectful love. I am thinking gardenias? They are my favourite plant of all time.


8 thoughts on “But it’s not the new year?

  1. Me too, Lucinda! My previous advice to you inspired me. The only photos I could show you are massive piles of weeds and grass. But I’m now feeling virtuous and off to do some more.

  2. Good start! For the plants that will thrive in your area have a look in urrounding gardens, that’s what Don Burke says to do. My garden is oft neglected but I try too, we have triffids in many forms here. lol

  3. Progress is progress 🙂 I think you’re off to a great start. I hate weeding, so I’m glad I live somewhere that gives me about 6 months off from weeding every year. Usually I plant things that are local and hardy, because I will forget to take care of it at least once every summer.

    • 6 months off, sounds ideal.

      At my last house I planted a lot of native, drought resistant shrubs, because watering was banned and rain irregular. Plants thrived. This suburb is a much wetter one, so flowering exotics do well. But so do the weeds.

  4. In the past 9 days, we had two major snowstorms followed by 4 days of continuous cold rain and now it’s snowing again! Even fighting Triffid plants sounds good about now! Hope you’re enjoying Christmassy things!

    • I want a snow storm. Would make everything so cosy! (Well, I think, having only ever been in one, which may not qualify on Canadian standards, down what we call The Snow.) can’t imagine trudging to work in it though.

      Family about to descend to our house for Christmas lunch. 14 people. Fewer than last year, as we had other family from interstate staying. Shame it is cool (about 25°) and raining, as the kids normally entertain themselves by swimming in the pool.

      Merry Christmas to you and Mr Exacting.

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