Enjoy about sleep for a bit, though I did turn off electronic devices and the TB at 9.30 and was asleep by 10.30! Had a great night’s sleep and woke at 5.30, rested and alert without an alarm. Perfect!
So back to Calling Time on Wine O’clock. Catchy title! The book by Sarah Turner and Lucy Rocca called to me from the library shelf as that’s what doing.
But it wasn’t really for me. The stories were all of really extreme cases – DV, getting caught DUI, almost losing job. Not me at all. Thank heavens.
Aimed at middle age women (me) it’s central premise is that you must not consume any alcohol. No trying to cut back. No moderate drinking.
Also the authors kept using the comparison of alcohol as the bad lover you are attracted to. Just didn’t work for me. I am not attracted to the bad boy type. Never have been. And never really being in the in and out of relationships and the single scene, the comparison doesn’t work for me.
The book does constantly refers to a site you can join for support. Except it costs. And I already am on one. The forum I am on is for living simply and saving money. On the site there’s a thread with others who are cutting back on alcohol. So the authors are right, support networks help. I just don’t need theirs.
So I skimmed this book. My takeaway idea: if you continue to see no alcohol as denying yourself you will falter. You will be unhappy and a “dry drunk”. But if you look at it as a chance to let your true self shine through with time and energy and thought to do the things you love, you see being alcohol free as a positive.
However, they push a totally acohol free state. Not a drink in moderation. I am going down the latter path. I am never saying never. I want it to be like gambling for me. I can walk in a casino or past pokies and have no calling to gamble but then I might buy a scratchie after grocery shopping and enjoy scratching it.
The authors said time getting on the wagon is usually continually spent counting down the days until your next drink. Whereas totally alcohol free is not spent in that way.
My 30 days started like that and then I lost count. And now I can only “count” the days by counting back to when we did things on our hols. “When we did the big walk I didn’t have a drink but I think I did the next day when the storm hit.” kind of thing. Though last night I had a piccolo of sparkling wine.
As always for me the real test will be when I return to work. How will I deal with the stress? How will I make the mark between work and home? How will I take some time for me to stop and break and breathe without “doing” something?
The support group thing I think is pretty important. Though I suspect real life support instead of online support is more effective. Real people have those subtleties like being able to be supportive and sympathetic at one time but just a little unaccepting at other times. A blend of empathy of truth-telling.
Do you have any friends who are really light drinkers? I get very influenced by light or no-drinking friends because I do feel their judgement (even if unstated!) if I over-consume!
I haven’t bought any alcohol since I’ve been back home except in a restaurant dining out. I haven’t actually thought about buying a bottle to have at home during stress-free school holiday times. But once term hits I do find my thoughts drifting towards a drink on Friday nights.
I have light drinking friends but I don’t feel judged. I like anonymous support, especially online as I can chose when I access it. If it was a friend, they I’d be like, “I want to see friend but then they’ll be all like how’s your drinking and I don’t want to talk with them about it today.”
Now we both have to deal with stress in other ways this term.
It sounds like the authors dealt with people whom they thought were alcoholics and they recommended no drinking for them. I expect there is a continuum that creeps up to problem drinking, and some of the people affected can drink in moderation while others can’t. I liked the approach in the earlier book you referenced, in which it was all about building replacement habits.
I definitely think for some there is a creeping continuum. And also problems are problems at different levels. We don’t all have the same “rock bottom”. My rock bottom isn’t losing a job, house or relationship. Mine is my doctor looking askance at me.
That’s why I think really bad stories don’t work. Too easy to say, “That’s not me.” And for others to say, “You’re not that bad.”
I’m a light drinker and can happily go without. Fiona- I found it interesting that you felt judged; I have usually felt the same way about not drinking! It’s awful to be the only sober person in a room full of drinkers “C’mon, you must. One won’t hurt you.” And always being asked “Why don’t you drink?” I just didn’t really like the taste.
That being said, I have at last found super sweet wine that I am happy to enjoy now that I’m over 50!
Definitely a stress eater – at least three donuts inhaled… today. Mindfulness is so much less on calories, so I should just take the time.
I think the ‘abstain’ model works for some – I know that the Happiness blogger, American, now has a podcast (don’t they all) talks about there’s different people – the all or nothing (abstainers) and then those who need boundaries, but moderaters can work within those… Different strokes y’known. Gretchen Rubin is her name!
I borrowed two of Rubin’s books this month. Half way through one.
I am generally an abstainer. One chocolate = lots of chocolate. One handful of chips = the whole big packet. I’d like to be a moderate one. I think Dar would be a moderate type of person. I’m a gutsy, all or nothing type.