Archive | February 12, 2019

It’s too hot: Let’s invade New Zealand.

It is unbearably hot here in south east Australia.

Last week, it was 29° at 7.30am on my way to work.

38° at 4pm.

Today was so hot it singed my body hair.

January and February are unliveable in Sydney. It is not just me. I admit, I’m a delicate petal, but others, like The Occasional Nomad agrees.

And the heat is increasing.

Yes, climate change deniers, it was so hot in Sydney 40 years ago, in my youth, that the asphalt on the street bubbled up, but you can deny away – it is definitely hotter for longer and with an increasing number of increasing hot days, with an increasing higher average now.

While we were sweltering in the high thirties for days, nay weeks, on end, Auckland had one day with a maximum of 32°, followed by days with a maximum of between 23° and 25°. This sounds perfect.

And they don’t have snakes or bugs or spiders or as many mozzies. The mozzies they have, are so limp you can swat them in the air by giving them a slap.

Whilst most of New Zealand goes to their family bach, maybe we could turn their homes into our baches?

Failing that, we could just invade and take over the country.

They don’t have an airforce or navy, so it should be easy. OK, not so easy. They’re known as fearsome soldiers.

Or maybe, as they are kinder than Australians [see, for example, how they would welcome the refugees locked on Manus Island] they might take pity on us in this heat, and let us summer on the North Island? They could put us up in a spare room for a couple of months. Please?