A fine head of hair*

*shallow post warning. This post is on hair and appearances. If you want something deep, click away. If you are offended by judgey comments, click away.

I spend quite a bit on my hair. Every four to seven weeks, I visit the hairdresser. Streaks, root colour touch up and trim.

In between visits, I don’t do much. I can’t use a hair dryer or straightener or curling wand to style my hair. I am “challenged” in the hair styling department. I end up looking like a mess. But to be fair to my lack of skills, even hairdressers are challenged by my fringe which, when directed which way to go by a blast of hot air and a styling brush, rebels and sticks straight out. Also, my hair looks like it has been straightened when all I have done is combed it. Of course that means when curled, the curls last a few hours, then it is straight. Except if frizzed. Crimping after plaits can last all day. Why isn’t that in anymore? Oh yes. Because it is unattractive.

I’ve attempted all manner of styles and colours. Spiral perm. Fringe. No fringe. Bob. Long. Blonde. Brown. Pink. Purple. Strawberry blonde. Burgundy.

When I grow my hair out, the repeated bleaching is more evident. The hair becomes brittle and frizzy.

Some people are blessed with hair that doesn’t need much help. Thick, flowing locks. Or thick, wavy locks. Or thick head of curls.

The key is thick.

I have always had thin hair. If I didn’t get it cut and coloured frequently, I’d look very unkempt. Tired and worn out. Ugly even.

The other key is uniformity. People who have embraced the silver, usually have a uniform spread of salt and pepper. I have patches of white, as if my hair has gone albino in spots. Then I have a grey sprinkled among black-brown. But not sprinkled nicely.

All those beautiful women who have embraced the silver, also have a natural beauty.

I have a round face. It made me look fat in photos even when I was very skinny.

As I age, I expect my hair to get thinner. My Oma, posthumously nicknamed Oma Kardashian, wore wigs. She said it was to keep her head warm. But come on, in Sydney! She was vain and I’m sure she wore the wigs to hide her thin hair and exposed scalp.

I was at the theatre recently with a friend, who is in her 60s and blessed with thick hair of a uniform silver grey. She can tie it back and look glamorous. We were examining the heads of those in front and below us. (Going to a matinee performance means that the audience is mainly women over 57 so I can see my immediate future.) Dying hair dark makes the scalp more noticeable. I will be like these two women if I don’t do my hair differently.

I think I will embrace the wearing of wigs. It will help in so many ways – my inability to style my hair, my thinning hair, my love of changing my hair style.

In the meantime I will stay with white blonde for the foreseeable future – foils and root touchups.

But I have a secret desire to do this.

22 thoughts on “A fine head of hair*

  1. YOU POSTED YOUR PHOTOS!!!! Ok, I have to go back and now read the post. I just had to jump to comments first!!!! 😀

  2. OK. So many things to discuss about this, LOL!

    Firstly, I know you as a blonde and it really suits you. I am pro-blonde for you (I may as well be definitive, as I feel you can handle it!) But that said, the top-right photo colour is lovely and also the mid-brown. What you may think you lack in ‘texture’ you make up in colour-adaptability. You can wear all colours and they look great!

    Next: the Sydney dilemma. Part of the reason I voted to move back to Melbourne in 2011 was the hair difficulty posed by Sydney humidity [I am actually fully serious about this.] You may laugh, but it is a disturbing issue to those of us from lesser-humid climes. I advise that you move to Melbourne for better hair manageability.

    Lastly: the secret-desire hair photo is awesome and you would rock that look!

    • I could see how ones hair looked in a place could be one of the reasons to leave. No one wants to look ugly every day. My “frizz” isn’t really frizz – just dried out from bleach. My hair is OK in Sydney because it is fine and straight and thin. I couldn’t live in a place that needed beanies or headwear. Beanies look really bad on me. Wrong face shape so I look round and fat and not enough hair to look cute.

      I don’t actually have to manage my hair. I wash, comb and go. No hair dryer. Nothing. If I comb it before it dries, I am fine. Occasionally I will use Velcro rollers for “lift”. That’s it.

  3. Also lastly…can I just say that after you NEVER posting a face photo all this time…it really amused me to see 400 faces all in one! 🙂 🙂 🙂

    • Haha. Yes. I know. But I thought fuck it. Who cares if a parent stumbles across this. You can’t stop cranks and psychos from complaining. And I needed to show the different hair styles.

  4. Oh! And oh my goodness! Your comments! “Ugly even…rough” blah blah. You look wonderful and vivacious and energetic and fun-loving in every single photo. 🙂 And the mischief showing in those photos. Yes!

    (It’s making me want to teleport you here to lead our middle school pastoral sessions for a quick re-boot…”pretty…GREAT!…pretty…smart!…pretty…strong!” etc. Oh and our day when we got the kids to wear their uniforms inside out aka “pretty on the inside…and out.”)

    • Thank you for all those wonderful words. But you do realise I picked the photos? They weren’t random. I didn’t pick photos that I didn’t look good in.

      I have great self confidence. And I’m realistic about my looks. How my hair is makes a huge difference to how I look. But then that is true for everyone.

  5. Oh my…I have been giggling my way through this one. I had no idea you had such hair issues… enough to warrant the sneaky photography of someone else’s hair at the theatre. Still smiling at the thought of that.
    I don’t like the “old lady with obviously dyed dark hair” look. And I don’t like dyed hair on men, particularly middle aged ones (just thought I’d add my own judgy-ness too).
    Re the wigs – you will have to watch “Schitt’s Creek”. There’s a fabulously eccentric mother who dresses flamboyantly and wears outrageous wigs. You could pull this off.

    • The haughty queen was in my 20s so I’ve been rocking that look for a long time. I like the strawberry blonde colour bottom second right. But my fav is same as your pick and top second left which has another face peaking in that you may recognise.

  6. Don’t hate me because I’m silver. 🙂 I’m just old(er) and cheap and fortunate that my hair is a fairly nice, mostly shiny colour and not a total tyrant. But I get your dilemma. Living in a hot, humid climate (summers), I know how quickly a hairstyle can go up in frizz. The kicker at my age is that my hair, which was thick and mostly straight, decided to pick up a curl in my senior years. Not a curl that you might want, but one that decides where and when it will show up. I am lucky that I can wield a brush and a hairdryer. With the use of a little Aveda control paste I can redirect my short hair to a pleasing enough (not granny) style. It is thinning a little–not outrageously–yet, but I can see the time when a little wig therapy might be just the ticket.

    PS – I always check the back/top of my hair with a hand mirror before going out just to make sure it doesn’t look like either of your clandestine theatre photos.

    • Silver! I spend lots of money to be silver blonde. Lucky you.

      A curl that won’t curl as it is told!!! Most frustrating.

      I don’t really have frizz. My hair is good in humid weather as I have straight hair that is always straight. The frizz I get now is from the bleach drying out the ends.

  7. I must be lucky I have never had to dye my hair so don’t have the problem of the ‘growing out. I have been ginger all my life and people always ask me what colour I use! It is fading more now as I age but I am not sure I will go grey probably white I think. My mum who is 93 and mid brown only started going grey in her 90’s.
    I like the colour and style of the bottom row 3rd from the left but then I like long hair.
    No matter what hairstyle you go for you have a lovely smile to go with it.

    • Lucky you. I’d love to be ginger. Always wanted to be. And to not go grey!!! Why do some of us go early, some not at all, some in spot. Most perplexing.

      Your pick is a colour I like. Thank you for the compliment.

  8. I have fine, mostly straight but with enough curl to be annoying hair. I can get away with not doing anything to it, but I usually blow dry it if I have to have my Face on. I’ve had basically the same hair cut since I was 14 – just variations on length and fringe. It’s currently in an ear level bob with no fringe. I tried the pixie cut once, but yeah, curls. When it’s super short, they come out to play.

    Right now, I’m working on silver. I’m naturally blonde, and currently chemically enhanced, but the pesky “natural” blondes are in streaks and are not conducive to an all in approach as yet. Because of the silver/blonde nature of my hair, I can get away with colour every 4 months or so, but I am feeling duller more quickly, so I might have to increase the frequency of my touch ups. The back part of my hair has settled on a light brown with no silver streaks, so I plan to keep enhancing until the back catches up with the front.

  9. It was quite a shock to see so many photos of you after none for so long! I went straight to the photos – my gut reaction was, “Wow, what a strong and exuberant person!” Only after that did I stop to note, “Oh, this is about hair?” I used to notice people’s hair more, and even identify them by their haircuts, but I don’t think about it so much any more. My own hair is “wash and wear” with no fuss. I suppose I don’t realize how much effort other people go through with their hair, as it has diminished in importance for me. If you think from the point of view of men over 30, it’s not so much “What do they do with their hair?” but “Do they have any or not?” I confess to having a Pinterest board of super-short, edgy haircuts because I like the fierce attitudes of some of the models. I would love to have a style that is undercut or shaved but it won’t happen – white stubble on a pink scalp is not attractive!

    • Thank you. I am strong and exuberant. My hair is largely wash and wear too – except for my five-weekly hairdresser appointment.

      Short and edgy. Go for it. It’s only a few weeks if it doesn’t work.

  10. I’m late as always to the comments . . .

    Since I just saw you a few months ago, all the pictures were a bit of surprise, especially since I only know you as a blond. My favorite is the second from the top on the right – professional but relaxed and friendly hair. However, running a very close second is the second from the bottom on the right – there’s a whole Marilyn Monroe thing going on that you do very well.

    I get the hair issue though. Mine has been the bane of my existence for as long as I can remember. I have very, very naturally curly (thin) hair, and as a child my mom found it a hassle and did not want to be bothered so I usually got an ugly, very short pixie-type cut that ended up going in all sorts of directions (My sister had thick, beautiful blond hair and got to wear hers long and my mother would style it. Yes, I still have issues about this). I could never wear bangs or any other “style” because my hair did what it wanted to do. Period. It always has, and always will. In high school, when long, straight hair was the must-have style, I grew my long and ironed it, had it chemically straightened, slept in giant Wilma Flintstone hair curlers on the top of my head but by afternoon it was always a frizzy mess. I started going gray in my 30s, initially just around the front of my face. My sister suggested I pluck the gray hairs out but I frankly did not want to walk around looking like I was trying out for the role of Elizabeth I. I eventually colored my hair (blond) for years, but then two things happened that changed everything: a) In our son’s wedding photos my light blond hair made me look like Great Aunt Sally’s older sister, and b) my colorist told me one day that I and his other clients were putting his kids through college because of what we were paying him. He told me to just go gray so I never went back and let my hair grow out to its natural gray. I cut it short and let it curl however it wants. My hair wins. It’s looking better these days but it’s been a struggle.

    P.S. I have had my hair as short as in the bottom picture. I loved it but it scared everyone else, and I had to have it trimmed every couple of weeks to keep it up.

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